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Dear Skwid...
When life is getting you down and you have no where to turn...email the 1st Skwid your problem. He will be
happy to answer any of your questions about life and its mysteries.  Also, we could use a good laugh at your
expense.

For advice from the 1st Skwid, please email us at...

...advice@thechurchofdave.net.


If progress is technology moving forward, then what is congress?



Remember, it's always darkest just before the dawn.  so, if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.



Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

Dear Skwid...
- I'm having trouble at home. You see, my wife left me. She also took the dog, my truck and burnt my house down. What should I do?      -D.M.D.

             A sad situation.  The truck and house are just possessions and can be replaced.  And it sounds like you are better off without your wife.  But the dog, that's where you should draw the line, find the bitch (and I don't mean the dog) slap her "upside the head" and get your dog back. (However we at CODdon't condone violence)
             
-1st Skwid



Dear Skwid...
- What is the
meaning of life?    -Chuck

             It was a movie done by Monty Python in 1983.  Starring John Cleese, Graham Chapman and the rest of the Monty Python cast.  It's available for rental in your local video store. Very funny.
            -1st Skwid 



Dear Skwid...
- My life feels unfulfilled and empty. What should I do?     -A.F.

             You could join COD, or you could sleep with some super models.  You choose.
             -1st Skwid



Dear Skwid...
- Have you seen my cat?      -T.T.


             Your pussy?  No.  Please send pictures.
             -1st Skwid


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